The nightmare of world book day and other embarressing fancy dress occasions

So today is world book day, I’m not sure what that means but it certainly seems like another sneaky opportunity to bleed parents dry. Along with Easter, Halloween and of course the main event, Christmas, but this ‘day’ creeps up on you, because no one knows about it and then bam! You are suddenly having to create a costume in 1 evening.
Receiving a crumpled letter in his book bag THE DAY BEFORE! Asking for all children too be dressed as their favourite book character.
We are one of the more fortunate families on this occasion as Oscar has numerous costumes and luckily I was able to persuade him that while every super hero costume he has horded for the last 3 years (yes some are extremely tight and what were once trousers are now shorts) are presented in marvel comic books what his teachers had meant was a proper book. So I finally persuaded him he would look fantastic as Harry Potter. And I was right.
So Oscar’s day was a success and I felt like I’d  gained mummy points today.
I then got thinking about my own school days and the excitement and anticipation of dressing up. Ending in the awkward humiliation of the end results, but god bless my hardworking busy parents they really were creative!

Red nose day

The first day that strikes a memory is red nose day. It was the year of the squeaky noses. My dad left it till the night before to go and buy me and my older brother a red nose. Living out in the sticks he took the 20 minute journey too the nearest town and scoured the shops. He came back several hours later looking disgruntled and with no red nose.
Though he didn't come home empty handed, oh no not my dad, he bought us both a red ball, a squeaky ball to be precise, a dog toy!! Inventive!! He snipped a hole in it for our nose and there you go a squeaky red nose.
Okay it was double the size of everyone else’s at school the next day and we looked a bit like coco the clown but that day was actually one of the more successful.

Children in need

So the next day that I vividly remember is children in need, or as it was known as at the time Pudsey bear day!! I remember it well, i was ten and we were in the middle of moving house and were renting a small house from a neighbour whose mum had just died. (One of my least favourite houses especially as the sofa she had died on was still sat in the living room.) All of our things were in storage and we only took the bare essential with us. So you can imagine the horror when I am sat in assembly been told to dress as Pudsey bear. I looked through the slim pickings of the clothes I had Packed and pulled out a big baggy orange woolly jumper and some yellow tights. Brilliant they’re bear colours I thought and set out to put them on. I showed my mum, quite pleased with myself. She told me I cannot go too school in just tights and instructed me to find a skirt or some shorts to wear with them.
The only shorts I had with me were my P.E shorts. Cycling shorts! Blue, shiny, lycra cycling shorts.
So off I go to school, two buns in my hair (ears!)A big woolly jumper, yellow tights and blue cycling shorts.

I never did win best dressed, the winner won a Pudsey teddy. I was gutted. Though my mum did take me to buy a teddy to cheer me up, he was the same unfortunate colour as my burnt orange jumper.

So remember stressed parents out there, you may be creating a last minute DIY outfit for the numerous  occasions schools spring on us. But cycling shorts over yellow tights is NEVER a good idea! Have you had any embarrassing moments please feel free to share in the comments, so we can learn from not just my mistakes!

Also whilst writing this I saw that Red nose day is this month, so I will aim to bypass the pet shop and get Oscar a nose on time!

What I have learnt whilst planning a wedding!

What I learnt whilst planning a wedding.

So planning a wedding is a minefield, a minefield that the higher percentage of engaged folk haven’t come across before. There are so many pressures that you could not have even dreamt about and never incorporated into your 10 year old self’s dream fairy princess wedding. Why can’t I just put on a pretty white dress and say I do?! What do you mean there are 12 different shades of pink?!

For me there has been so many very problematic areas of wedding planning. So you can either laugh at me and my mistakes that I have encountered and hopefully you won’t have to make them. That or just elope...

Wedding planning is so fun.... said no one... ever.

Superglue is super sticky. No jokes!

I learnt this cruel fact whilst DIYing my centrepieces. I had pinned over 50 repeated images of centrepieces which I was going to have a go at creating for our big day. Once I knew the theme I was happy with, my first question was how much will this cost me? So I spent days, weeks well actually 2 months stocking up my eBay basket full after searches and searches of ‘rustic table decor’ ‘burlap and lace items’ ‘wooden wedding’. After realising that paying at least £100 in centrepieces was as realistic as it gets in the wedding world so I decided to go it alone.

I played about with what I had to hand trying to keep to the same themes as the images I had trawled through on Pinterest In scooted through my recycling bin and found wine bottles (lots of wine bottles!! So I thought brilliant, these linked into some pictures I had seen and loved the idea of I could defiantly have go a upcycling some old bottles and what better thing to have as a centrepiece than a drink I am known too love?! So I got bidding on some cheap burlap with a lovely lace trim and picked up some bargain super glue five tubes for one pound!

After so long of deliberating  about my centrepieces I was ready to set off and give then a go. I got Nalah off to sleep and excitedly up to the table and started to carefully wrap the pretty burlap around my empty prosecco bottle.

Brilliant. It looked fantastic beaming from ear too ear with the successful job I had done I stand back to take a photo of my masterpiece.


Oh shit! My left thumb is stuck. Actually stuck. Not like the times in school when you pretend your stuck to your mate so you cant possibly do any work, but actually full on am going to have a wine bottle on my hand on my wedding day stuck! I had horrific visions of the registrar saying, “you may now place the ring on Hannah’s left...erm...bottle.”


After a lot of swearing I managed to peel my poor skin from the bottle and burlap leaving a little bit of my thumb behind. It stung like crazy and I was left for the rest of the day picking glue and bits of hessian off my fingers and nursing my new poorly!
So let this be your lesson, superglue is super sticky and defiantly not for the faint hearted or fair sensitive skinned of those among us.

And p.s double sided tape actually does the job successfully  with no mess, damage or skin loss!

Hang on a minute, what’s that noise? I think I know, its Mr Tumble !

It is so captivating... 

 So Carl left for work at least over an hour ago. Nalah is snoring her little head off and has been for at least 40 minutes but the little hot water bottle just looks too content for me to put her down. Having said that I am sat sipping a lukewarm coffee (well I just wouldn’t have it any other way.

 I have my phone in hand lurking through the pages wedding forums looking at bizarre posts that got out of hand. Starting with a search for ‘how many bridesmaid is average?’ and ending up reading pointless posts about who do you thank first in the wedding speeches. This gripped me and actually got me pencilling up (in my head) a timeline and tick list for Carl’s speech. Which in reality I probably won’t even get a sniff at until the big day is here.

I mean does it matter who we thank when we thank them or why we thank them, its us that are buying them a nice three course meal and some plonk!!

 I glance and the clock and realise I have wasted a good 40 minutes of my life reading and worrying about this trivial matter, I quickly feel sick that I’ve not done any housework or even in fact brushed my hair yet and it is almost school run time. I stress that Nalah probably won’t have a nap this long for at least another 5 days as they seem to be 10 minute clusters and that's if I am really silent.

 I also realise that along with the time I have been listening too cbeebies whilst my child has been sleeping for this same amount of time. Bare in mine Nalah is two months old, she couldn’t give a shit if she was watching Twirlywoos or the antiques roadshow but never mind it makes me feel more child friendly having it on. So this is when I am alerted to the fact I have been watching Mr Tumble on my own I pick the remote up to flick channels.

 Just then Justin Fletcher grabs my attention again saying “we’re going on an adventure today.” I physically put down the remote, put down my phone and sit enjoying the rest of ‘something special’. Who have I become?

 And now its way too late to put the washing on or even contemplate doing the pots, this day will have to just go down as another fail day.

I just watch wedding daytime T.V all day and sip cold coffee.

The beginning.

So I am new to this so please bare with me and go easy on me. Also I am trying to type on my phone in bed, whilst eating a pack of palma violets.

I began jotting down my day to day ramblings and rants in an email to my dad, sometimes they were quite often full minute by minute accounts of my day. Fair to say after a while he no longer was quite as eager to read his 5 page email that pinged in his inbox at 3am every morning just too read how well my 4 loads of washing had gone. So I though I would safe him the hassle and bore the entire world wide web instead!

It all started when my dad asked me (innocently making idle conversation) what I did in my days now I am on maternity leave. Looking back I am unaware of why I answered the way I did, maybe I felt extra fresh or maybe I just was so tired a quick answer seemed an easy option but either way the answer I gave is what prompted me too look at my life differently.
I shrugged and said, “well not a lot really, I take Oscar too school, then sit on the sofa with Nalah and watch Say yes to the dress until its time to pick Oscar up again.”

Wow!! I have actually become so used to this zombie lifestyle I am living and actually started too believe  all I do all say is sit and watch people buying wedding dresses and analyse the shop attendant’s bizarre lip liner. And that is when I began to write, write what I do, how I feel and what fills my days, to help me understand why my coffee is always cold.

Introducing the DIY nappy wielding bride...

I am a twenty six, though look about thirteen mother and I am often worried that I will be confused at the school gate with some of the year sixes. I have two beautiful children. Oscar who is 5 going on 50  from a previous relationship and Nalah who is just 2 months old.

I am engaged to Carl my hardworking non stop fiancé. Carl and I met whilst working in a children’s home for teenagers.
He turned up in the nick of time saving my arse on too many occasions from broken noses too a foot in the fanny and was always there to safe my day and that is kind of just how it started, with 3am McDonald's breakfast and little smiles here and there. Very quickly he became everything my life needed.

So enough of the soppiness. I am his bride to be. 

I am a serious tight arse and everything for wedding is going to be budgeted. I have scoured the Internet to source items 3 pence cheaper than I’ve seen elsewhere. Which is why I have decided too become a DIY bride.
That been said this does not mean I want to skimp on the quality of our big day. I want it to be perfect which is why the wedding is in my head, Pinterest is at my fingertips, wedding t.v is on my box 24/7.

This blog will mainly be the ramblings of my day too day life being a mummy with some wedding planning stress thrown in for good measure.
Happy reading.